broken beauty; reflecting on kintsukuroi
I've always had an appreciation for Japanese art because it serves a greater purpose for the human mind. Aside from its prevalent foundation of culture and history, Japanese art has particularly been influenced by Buddhist teachings to appreciate natural good from the human world. One of my favorite genres is called Kintsukuroi, or also known as, "Golden Repair."
Kintsukuroi showcases broken pottery repaired with lacquer resin dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. The act of Kintsukuroi is called Kintsugi, or also known as "Gold Splicing." Kintsugi represents a manifestation of resilience because the art of repairing broken pottery creates a different and unique form of beauty. (1)
This is also commonly compared with "Wabi-Sabi", which is "the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection and profundity in nature: of accepting the natural cycle of growth, decay and death" (2). To break it down, Wabi is translated as "harmony, peace, tranquility, and balance", while Sabi is translated as "the bloom of time." It represents appreciation towards authenticity. (2)
To be short, both exemplify the act of embracing beauty even when it is broken. Therefore, brokenness is seen as a celebration rather than an embarrassment.
Kintsukuroi has taught me to be appreciative of myself, broken parts, and all. For the longest time, I always thought that the broken parts of my bowl were the ugliest, so I tried to sweep all of it under a rug. But when they were unveiled to the public, I felt even more insecure because they were no longer seeing the perfect bowl I pictured myself to be. I was afraid of being different and no longer beautiful.
I found my gold-resin when I started to realize and accept that there is no such thing as "universal perfection." Yuriko Saito, a philosophy professor at RISD once said, "Our aesthetic judgments based upon perfection or imperfection almost invariably have consequences that affect the quality of life, the social and political climate of a society, and the state of the world" (3). I was so focused on trying to be like others, that it deterred me from understanding my worth and happiness; it made me forget that I am fully capable of defining myself.
And so, I began to mend the broken pieces back together. I found healing through vulnerable conversations, self-love, prayer, healthy habits, and happiness. After many years of training my mind to be okay with who I am, I realized that I was never meant to look or be like any other bowl because the bowl I chose to be is just as beautiful. I accepted my brokenness and used it to fill others with the resin they were looking for.
Of course, I still break here and there. Society has influenced me so well that even if I tell myself to go against unstable social constructs, I'll still feel imperfect at times. I'll have a hard time believing in myself when I am constantly struck with failure.
But when I reflect on the gold resin I've been repairing myself with, I'll come to acknowledge that I am beautiful.
I am worth happiness.
I am capable of being more because every day I am always transforming for the better.
Remember that brokenness is more common than you might think. So instead of being ashamed of differences and vulnerability, let's practice and cultivate a culture of normalizing these "ugly" conversations so that we can create our own profound pieces of work through self-realization and healing. Let's be each other's gold and celebrate our own unique examples of beauty.
If you'd like to read more about Kintsukuroi or Wabi-Sabi, here are the websites I used for research!
xx
ireneskylar.paek