scribbles (to be honest)

To be honest,

I wrote a lot about you.

I wrote a lot because of you.

I wrote a lot to you.

But I crossed everything out.

I threw away all of the pages.

I burned all of the feelings

And left them with the ashes.

There were a lot of mixed emotions

Scribbled in between the lines.

The ink just needed a simple command

To bleed through the other sides.

To be honest,

There was a series of things

I wanted to say to you.

I don't know what made me think

That you would actually read,

Let alone listen,

But I guess I just wanted it

Away from me

And out of me.

And, to my surprise,

The only one who was willing to listen

Was the one who has constantly been listening.

The pages

Filled with what I could not say

And the overflow of emotions 

Are much stronger

Than you would have ever been.

To be honest, 

I just wanted a home.

I guess I didn't even realize

That I created one of my own.

xx

ireneskylar.paek